Before You Divorce

The institution of marriage goes back to the beginning. The book of Genesis describes its commencement this way:

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:21-24)

God’s ideal regarding holy wedlock is one man for one woman for life. Death dissolves the marriage bond (Romans 7:1-3). In worse case scenarios, marriages may end due to marital infidelity (Matthew 19:9). However, we must remember that the Bible teaches God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). If you know someone who is considering divorce, or if you are, then consider these truths…

Divorce is not a problem-solver. Someone might say, “If I get rid of my spouse, I will get rid of this problem, and then I will be happy.” However, it has been shown that divorce tends to bring more problems than solutions. Some think that if they divorce, they can finally find the companions of their dreams and start over. However, the grass is not always greener on the other side. One study suggested that some sixty percent of second marriages end in divorce.

Divorce is often a creator of problems. First, most divorces fly in the face of Bible teaching and directly contradict the words of our Lord (Matthew 19:1-9). This is a problem. But there are others that one might want to consider.

First, there are money problems, especially among women. The standard of living for divorced women has been known to plummet, on average, some seventy-three percent.

Second, there is the problem of loneliness. Again, women seem to suffer the most. It has been estimated that forty percent of women over thirty who divorce never remarry. Rather than finding Mr. Right, they live the rest of their lives alone. Finally, divorce typically becomes the source of ongoing pain and depression. A number of divorcees report that they continue to experience hurt, even ten years after the breakup of their marriages.

Third, divorce hurts children. Several years ago, Claire Berman wrote a book entitled, A Hole in My Heart: Adult Children of Divorce Speak Out, in which she said:

“The most striking impression one comes away with is that, for children, the divorce of the parents never goes away. It may be welcomed. It may be understood. But even when it is a positive solution to a destructive family situation, divorce is a critical experience for its children. Although there may be relief that a painful situation has been ended, there is also regret that a healthy family could not be created.”

With these thoughts in mind, we must be very careful. We dare not cause any little children to stumble (Mark 9:42).